non-game rp

[armcollector]

mostly a rollover post, for escaping captcha in memes, psls, etc

Comments

[armcollector]

[Sensible people Magnus would want nothing to do with.]

I'm not even sure if I could part with a chair made by a dog. Even if that dog was me. That chair comes with a story.

[spellslots]

[Wait he has immediate regrets about just like, all of this.]

If you're gonna make me watch you attempt to make a chair while you're a dog I'll tell the Director on you myself.

[armcollector]

Nooooo, pleeeeeeaaase, Taako, I just want to be the world's first carpenter dog!! On the moon!

[Don't tell!! The Director!! That's the last person that needs to be told!!!]

[spellslots]

Two, you can two of those things. You gotta choose.

[He can either be a carpenter dog on the ground because the Director will throw him off, or he can be a dog on the moon that doesn't try to wriggle it's way into a pocket workshop just to make a chair.]

[armcollector]

[Exaggerated siiiiigh.]

Fine, okay. I mean, I can't make any promises for my dog brain, but I will try not to get too close to any saws or chisels or knives as a dog. Try.

[spellslots]

Thank you, there's no way I'm filling out the paperwork for that.

[With a dramatic sigh, Taako sits himself up and eyes Magnus.]

You ready?

[armcollector]

[It's! Happening! Magnus snaps to attention. He would be having second thoughts right about now but, he's Magnus so who cares about those. It's only an hour long spell anyway. No hour long spell has ever randomly become permanent.]

Hell yeah! Dog me!

[spellslots]

[With the umbra staff pointed at Magnus (be nice, Lup), Taako casts polymorph and

Ta da!

Magnus is now a big fuck-off mastiff, because that's just how great magic is.]

Don't pee on the carpet, my dude.

[armcollector]

[Dog Magnus is so excited he could pee on the carpet. He does that dog thing where he wags his tail and spins around in place excitedly, barking once at Taako. Then he starts trying to dig a hole in the carpet, panting, and not really getting anywhere.

Congrats, Taako, you're now responsible for a dog.]

[spellslots]

Wait, wait, hold up.

[He doesn't know if that will actually be effective, but he's going to pluck his wizard hat off his head regardless, and attempt to put it into Magnus's doggy head.

Because that's hilarious.]

[armcollector]

[Dognus freezes in place when the hat is place on his head.

He then barks once at Taako and jumps around him, clearly very into it. A dog wizard is a good thing to be. The hat just falls off from all the movement, though.]

[spellslots]

[He kind of expected that to happen, but the sight is still amazing for as long as it lasts, and Taako is laughing to himself for a good minute before he regains his composure.]

I cannot believe we didn't do this sooner. I really wanna go fuck with someone but we probably shouldn't risk you getting sent down to the ground.

[armcollector]

[What was that?? That sounded somewhat similar to a sentence that means "let's go outside". Dognus jumps up at Taako's heels like he's a much smaller dog, then hurries off to the front door like. We're going right??? Right??? Come on, he looks very excited about it. You know you want to, Taako.]

[spellslots]

... You know what, worst case scenario I can just turn you back before anyone puts you in a bubble.

[Taako scoops his hat up off the ground, wobbles a little when he straightens too fast, and then sets it back on his head as he makes his way to the door.]

Lead the way, my dude.

[He wants to see what Magnus goes for first, which is why he'll just open that door and follow after Dognus at his own pace.]

[armcollector]

[Yesssssss!

Magnus rushes out of the door, pauses to think for a minute of where he could possibly go, and decides to make a beeline straight for the elevator. Except he can't really remember how elevators work so he just paws at the doors pitifully.

Then, he notices a potted plant by the elevator, and just. Goes to it and lifts a leg. He's a dog okay.]

[spellslots]

[If Taako were a better person he would probably try to stop Magnus in order to spare whoever the hell is responsible for cleaning a secret fake-moon base, but he is not a better person, so he just snickers.]

Classy, Mags, real classy.

[Taako makes it to the elevator, at least, pressing the button to call it.]

You wanna check out the quad?

[armcollector]

[Magnus just tilts his head at Taako. But he's very excited about the elevator, so when it opens he hurries inside and does a few laps around the interior.

When it opens again to the quad, he dashes out the door and just. Runs. A lot. Back and forth. At some point he notices his own tail and starts tumbling over himself to try to gnaw at it. Eventually, he ends up on his back on the floor, staring up at Taako almost expectantly.]

[spellslots]

[Somehow this is managing to be both absolutely fucking hilarious and also kind of adorable, though he'll never admit the latter outloud. Taalp finds a spot on the wall to prop himself against, and spends the next several minutes watching Magnus make a fool out of himself.

If only fantasy vine existed.

When Magnus comes back over to him, Taako can guess at what he's after and uses creation to make a large rubber ball.]

I'm never letting you live this down.

[And he tosses the ball.]

[armcollector]

[Oh fuck yes.

Magnus speeds after the ball. When he eventually picks it up, though, he does not bring it back. He trots off with it, finds a nice corner, and just gnaws at it a bunch. It's His Now, thanks.]

[spellslots]

[You know what? That's fine, he's just going to sit his butt down on the grass and wait for Magnus to get bored chewing on the ball.

Except then Taako gets bored like five minutes later and this time when he casts a spell, it's an illusion of a cat that meows at Magnus before running away.

Please chase the fake cat, Magnus, it'll be hilarious.]

[armcollector]

[Holy shit there's a cat. Fuck this ball. Where is it going???? Does it know something he doesn't???

He definitely bolts after the cat, barking a few times.]

[spellslots]

[Taako is like, doubled over laughing, as he watches Magnus chase a fake cat around the quad.

This spell lasts for ten minutes and he's absolutely keeping it going for that entire time, assuming that Dognus isn't going to make the wisdom saving throw necessary to realise it's fake.]

Get it, Mags! Get the cat!

[He's helping.]

[armcollector]

[Dognus goes ahead and tries the wisdom saving throw. Idk what his wis is as a dog but he rolled a nat 2 so. He's never been more convinced that is the real butt of a real cat he wants to sniff. Please god let him sniff that butt. He just wants to be friends, cat, he promises. He starts making the wildest noises that are like half between whines and barks as he continues to run, and run he does, straight into a small pile of trash bags that are lying out.

He pokes his head out of the trash bags. He's alright, he's good. He just really needs this cat to give him the time of day.]

[spellslots]

Aw, gross.

[Hopefully when Dognus is turned back into Magnus, the trash dog smell won't come with him.

Meanwhile the cat has found itself a perch just out of Dognus's reach and is tormenting him, because the cat is made by Taako and Taako is a shithead.]

[armcollector]

[Dognus does like a flailing maneuver at the cat, but can't jump quite high enough will all the stuff in his way so he mostly looks like a complete idiot trying to do a flip and faceplants.]