armcollector | non-game rp

I said elves don't need to sleep, not that I don't like sleeping. But sometimes you've got other priorities.

[He doesn't usually like to flaunt messing around like this in front of Magnus, because his biz isn't really Magnus' biz and People knowing Things about him is still uncomfortable. But he's willing to make an exception for how much it seems to outright bother Magnus, because that just makes it nine thousand percent funnier.]

But what, like, spendin' the night with an incredible guy and not having to stop the party train because I'm fucking unstoppable? 'Cuz now you're just soundin' real jealous my dude. Seriously, you wanna hang next time, we'll hook you up with someone cute. Or at least get you some coffee or whatever so you don't pass out at the bar.

[Mixing coffee and alcohol is fine right? Yeah. Sure.]

I'll pass, thanks.

[He's not about to be hooked up with anyone in any fashion. Not anytime soon, anyway.

There's only one person for him.]

Who was it, anyway? Anyone I know?

[He's probably going to regret asking, but blame his curiosity for that.]

Yeah, yeah.

[He waves his hand like he doesn't care an incredible amount, because he doesn't. If Magnus doesn't wanna be fun, he doesn't have to be fun. Taako is also rational enough to reason that people have fun in different ways, but also, it's time for Taako's Opinion, and it's that Magnus is being too much of a wet blanket around this party lifestyle.

The real question is, does he reveal his Boyfriend Hand yet.]

Do you really wanna know? Are you tryin' that hard to picture me having sex with someone, 'cause Magnus, if you wanted to see me like that, I'd say you could ask but I'm certainly not lining up to suck your dick.

[God! Why are you like this!]

Am I not allowed to have a healthy interest in my best friend's romantic life? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, as long as you're happy it's not really my business.

[Magnus sips his coffee for strength in these trying times.]

Anyway, luckily for you, this dick isn't on the table for anyone.

[He's best boy and you know it. Taako snorts a laugh, laying his hands spread on the table.]

Listen, no dicks, no tables, promise. And yeah, I mean, it's fine, he's...

[Hhhhh this is verging so much on too personal.]

It's fine. But if you're allowed to be pickin' in my life, I'm allowed to give you unsolicited advice about not being sad and lonely. Like that you should find someone cute to make out with.

[Congrats, with the sound of Magnus' groan marks the successful conversation dodge. Score one for Taako, but the morning's not over yet.]

I'm not sad and lonely! I've got you, and Merle, and Lup, and Carey and Ango and everyone else. Just because I'm not going to poundtown with anyone doesn't mean I need to make out immediately.

[He sips his coffee with a sigh.]

I'm not saying it'll never happen, but like, it's not happening. If someone is interested for whatever weird reason and I turn out to be into them, great, but that's not where I'm at right now.

[Yesss score one for Taako.]

Fine, fine, go back to being Angus' weird dad or something, nobody here has a decent relationship structure.

[Like??? Lup and Barry maybe??? Maybe. He can't imagine his sister as any kind of functional being.]

And I will content myself with glitter and dudes and sometimes both of those things at once. Also, with some eggs, which I am still waiting for. Often not at the same time as the dudes.

Maybe I will! Just because my relationship structure isn't traditional doesn't mean it's bad.

[Magnus crosses his arms, pouting, as suddenly the food arrives. Both of their monstrous orders take up basically the entire table.]

Thank you. Anyway, I'm gonna find out who that guy is, Taako, [Magnus warns as he indignantly digs into his t-bone.] And I'm going to tell him to get out while he still can.

[He's teasing, obviously. Though he does want to figure out who the hell Taako's involving himself with. They've been friends long enough that he should at least know that much about him.]

Fuck yes, mention eggs and they just appear, this is what I am about.

[He also contents himself with his first bite before he's grinning sort of sly at Magnus. Frankly, he was just going to tell him. The reaction probably would've been worth it alone. But now that he knows Magnus wants to know, it is decidedly funnier to let him squirm with it.]

So what, you gonna play my jealous ex-suitor spurned by my, uh, affections or something? Can't have me so nobody else can? You're not exactly my typical type, bubbleh. No offence or whatever.

Yeah, I'm one of your evil exes that the new guy has to arm wrestle for your hand.

[Damn, this steak is good.]

Anyway, no offense taken, but what is your type, then? Because if it's not tall dark and handsome, [Magnus gestures grandly to himself.] then I don't know what it could possibly be.

[This is obviously a joke. Magnus doesn't think of himself that way. More like "tall, dark, and rough around the edges".]

[He snorts at his suggestion, making a show of pretending he's about to spit out his food.]

Tall dark and handsome? You? Puh-leeze, my guy. You're more like musclehead dork. If I wanted to date a man who was more puppy than guy, maybe I'd give you a ring.

[Taako stop being so mean, he's plenty rugged.]

[Magnus snickers into his eggs.]

I didn't know a ring was part of this equation! We're moving awful fast, Taako. And, you know, a lot of people are into muscles and goofiness. How do you think I got married?

[He says it without thinking much of it, and punctuates with a forkful of eggs into his mouth. Sure, it's a tender subject, but it's fine to mention it as a one-off. They're having fun, here.]

[He scoffs right back.]

Mags, I know you better than any wife, please. I've seen your entire stitch way too many times over. If I was gonna get a ring involved it would be donezo.

[This is a weird conversation to even be having, frankly. Magnus is just... Magnus. Sure, the bod is rockin', but it's Magnus.]

Once you die with a dude you have like, a pact or something.

I feel like you're flirting with me right now. Is this flirting? Reverse-flirting? Are you negging me? I'm out of practice, I don't know what the kids do these days.

[I mean, it's all jokes and fun, which is what Magnus is really taking it as. He's pretty sure Taako would never see him that way, they're basically family.]

Are you and this dude, like, serious?

Talking about your ass isn't flirting. Like, for some people it might be? But for you specifically it just kills the whole boner zone.

[Maybe in like, cycle 1, if he hadn't been concentrating more on being in a totally different world. Besides, Magnus never had anything he wanted that he needed to flirt to get. Either he didn't get it or he'd just do it because he said so.

He kind of screws up his face at the second question, though, shoving a faceful of eggs into his mouth before responding.]

What kind of question is that? Since when have I been serious about anything? It's whatever. Do I seem like a settle down kinda dude?

I have a very non-boner-killing ass, thank you. People like my ass.

[Magnus kind of pauses at the reaction to his question, though.]

Well, no. I wasn't asking if you were gonna put a ring on it. I mean like, is this the first date? Is this the twentieth? Are you exclusive? Are you just fooling around?

[Magnus has a vested interest in this, because he wants to be sure any guy in Taako's life is making him happy. Taako's family, and Magnus protects his family.]

Suuuuure, Mags.

[He's gonna let the asstalk go, through, starting to pick at his food as he actually thinks about answering that second part. It's Magnus, so it's not... so weird, he guesses. It's kind of weird, but if anyone was gonna ask. Besides, it's an innocent enough question.]

I mean, it's like-- he's not dating anyone, I dunno. I guess I'm not. We haven't, like, talked about it. I guess it's been a while?

[It did start back in the Bureau days.]

I'm not exactly the type to have big emotional convos about this sorta biz, you know.

Yeah. I know.

[Magnus starts pouring hot sauce on his hash browns. Is he actually intending to pour the amount that is coming out of this bottle right now or is he entirely distracted by Taako's obvious discomfort? He sure is staring at those potatoes awful hard.]

Communication is pretty important in a relationship, though, dude. You gotta, you know... set boundaries and all that. Establish what you both want from each other.

[Some part of him, a part that spend ten years terribly alone, considers leaving right now. Just getting up and walking out and pretending all of this never happened hard enough to make it true. But this is-- it's Magnus. He's still not perfectly used to having people he wants to put in real effort for, or even feels obligated to such things. But Magnus cares about him. Magnus does, actually give a shit.

So it's kind of his job to give a shit back, right?]

I mean, I guess. Look, it's not-- I'm not Lup or like, you, okay, I don't do that whole love forever with sonatas and fancy outfits. He's just...

[He's just some guy, he wants to say, but he kind of feels like that's becoming less and less true.]

He just is, okay? He's not like, hurting me or anything. Like, hell, sometimes he might actually be too sweet? It's kind of a whole thing.

I mean... it's true for any kind of relationship. I'm not saying he's hurting you, just...

[Magnus sighs and gestures with his fork, flinging hot sauce onto the table.]

Okay, what does "too sweet" mean? Like you feel like he's faking it? Or like he likes you more than you like him?

[He crams more breakfast in his mouth just out of a need to be indignant.]

No, like, I think he's being super genuine and I'm a fucking mess, Mags, what else does it sound like?

[What if he yelled into these eggs? What if he did it? He idly takes a bite of toast, grimaces a little, and waves his hand to sprinkle some prestidigitation on there. Let's make that taste like toast now, thanks.]

I'm just tryin' to enjoy whatever I get before he wises up and figures out not every dude who offers to tentacle your dick is The One, okay.

[Magnus narrows his eyes at that. He particularly does not like his friends referring to themselves that way.

He's about to aggressively love his friend, but then he puts two and two together and remembers exactly whose dick was getting tentacled that one time.]

You-- Kravitz???

[He realizes his mistake like a second too late, and groans, rolling his eyes.]

It's not a big deal! We went on like, two dates before the apocalypse, I cracked him outta the Astral Plane when the Hunger came through, there was this whole thing.

[How do you manage "it's not a big deal" and "it was this whole thing" in one paragraph? Well, Taako's trying.]

It's-- look, he has a great ass, alright.

[Magnus starts a few sentences, gets about as far as a few syllables, and stops them all in their tracks before he can even think of what he's going to say.

He opens his mouth again after a short pause. Closes it. And finally says,]

You're not a fucking mess, Taako. You're a really good person and he's lucky you're into his ass.

[Punctuated by shoving an ungodly amount of dressed and hot sauced hash brown into his mouth.]

[Taako's looking at him with a face much too tight for his normal demeanor, waiting for the yelling or at least the judgement to start. And then it doesn't come and he just pops.]

That's it? I tell you I've been dating the Grim Reaper for months on end and you're just cool??

[What were you honestly expecting, Taako? He doesn't even know. Something that isn't this.]

I j-- you-- you're not gonna ask me a bunch of weird questions??? You're not gonna lecture me about, I don't know, necrophilia or some shit, I don't know!!! Just like that!

[He may have been anticipating this moment being... more crazy than it currently is.]

non-game rp

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what if i tagged this four months later

what if i responded

what if i boomeranged

thats gay babe

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