[Lup may be a lot of things, an asshole and a cheat to name a few, but she'll do just about anything to keep the promises she makes to the people that mean something to her.
Even if it's just to rub it in their faces later.
Which is precisely why, late into the evening after Nathan Drake's underwater discovery, that Lup comes busting into Magnus' room without warning. A dangerous thing to do, but it's been A Day. The woman is completely drenched, leaving a trail of water behind her all through the apartment, but that's pretty easy to forget when something comes levitating in through the doorway, pausing next to Lup's head and then dropping to the floor with an unfortunate squish.
Yep. That's a shark dick from a fucking monstrosity of a shark.
Lup just raises her hands and fingerguns across the way at Magnus.]
Like I said. I'm the fucking master of shark fishing.
[And this is way too good of an entrance for her to not spin on heel and immediately leave the room, leaving Magnus with the mess.]
[Magnus is partway through carving a wooden bowl, which is how he spends most of his time, these days. There's plenty of wood to go around, with all the collapsed buildings around town, so he's devoted much of his free time to... a throwback hobby, if you will. It's not like he ever gave up woodworking, not like he ever could, but it's not something he's done with the majority of his time for a while now. He simply didn't do it as much as he used to, when it was no longer his job.
But, hey. These days, he's been feeling the bittersweet pang of nostalgia. So whittle he shall.
He freezes, though, when his door opens without warning. Magnus happens to be wearing an undershirt and boxers, so not the worst thing Lup could walk in on, and a wood shaving falls to the ground to punctuate his stunned silence.
He watches her, mouth agape, as she drops a fucking disembodied double dick on the ground, fingerguns, makes a callback, and just fucking walks out. As soon as she exits, though, he shoots to his feet, forgetting the bowl, and follows after her. He's not letting her just micdrop like that, okay. Dickdrop.]
Come on, you could at least fry it! I don't think sushi has been invented!
[Oh COME ON, Magnus. That exit was so fucking rad.
Lup spins again when Magnus follows after her, not bothering to hide the flash of irritation on her face as water droplets fly off of her hair. She was just about to change, but instead, she'll just keep dripping puddles onto the their floor.]
Why would I--[Oh gods. Her eyes immediately narrow in suspicion up at him.] You aren't, you aren't planning on eating it, are you?
What the fuck else am I gonna do with a shark dick, Lup!?
[Don't look at him like that. You're the one that supplied him with fresh fish genitals.]
Besides, some of the most flavorful parts of mammals are the dicks. I don't see why it'd be so different for fish.
[You're talking to the man who willingly ordered fried unicorn dick. Also, he ate a magic rock. We are past the point of questioning Magnus on what he chooses to put in his mouth, Lup, keep up.]
[Magnus, you need to stop putting foreign dicks in your mouth, oh my GOD.]
Has Taako been slacking that badly you're going to resort to eating sharktopus dick? I know we got a little colorful with our cooking on some planes, but what the fuck?! I didn't raise you to eat animal genitals!
[Okay, so she didn't raise him at all, but he was such a young thing when they first met, it's hard not to think of him as a little brother who just happens to tower over her.]
She opens her mouth and holds out a finger, like she's about to wag it at him, but after a pause, Lup huffs instead of exploding. If you can't beat 'em...]
You know what, I am a goddamn magical chef. You want your fucking deep-fried sharktopus dick snack, Mags, I'm gonna make it the best fucking sharktopus dick you've ever had.
[Magnus stares her down. He's silent as he stews in how defensive he's still sort of feeling over the whole thing. What do you think spotted dick is in fantasy land?
He takes a deep breath through his nose. His eyes remain narrowed, and when his voice finally comes, the word is almost a whisper.]
[She points that finger at him finally.] Fine. Sit down and get ready to eat dick.
[And still sloshing around in her dripping clothes, leaving puddles of water with each step, Lup moves past Magnus towards his bedroom to levitate the dismembered shark genitalia into the kitchen. This is actually happening.]
[You're damn right this is happening. Magnus gives Lup a very serious look, as if to impress upon her just how fucking vital it is that he gets fried dick inserted into his mouth pronto, then finally heads over to the dining area and sits at the table. He kinda hates just fucking waiting for his food to be done all the time, but he's hovered around the kitchen enough times that Taako's lost his patience more than once.]
You ever cook shark before? Shark fin soup, maybe?
[Lup glares at him over her shoulder as the shark dick goes floating by, like she's annoyed he's not only making her make shark dick into a meal but now trying to dictate how she makes it. The dick plops down on their kitchen counter, squishing on impact.]
Good. [let her follow her cooking muse] It's been a few decades since I've worked with shark, but I'll whip something up. And it's going to be dope as hell.
[If nothing else, their time drifting from plane to plane has helped to develop the twin's skills by always giving them new things to work with and taking away the things they were most used to using. It was a challenge, but one they both had no choice but to rise up with. It makes their stay in Hadriel seem like a breeze.] I've got this shark dick covered, but any requests for sides? You don't get a protein without some kind of veggies on the side.
[Magnus is pretty spoiled, all things considered. He's got the two, as far as he believes, greatest chefs ever to make sense of all these canned veggies and weird orchard fruits and random staples in between, fashioning better meals from very little than probably anyone else in the cave is eating.
So when she asks what he wants for a side, he doesn't grow indecisive from lack of selection. Quite the opposite. Taako's had plenty of time to learn to get creative with Hadriel's stock, and Lup's no worse, herself. After a period of indecision, he finally offers,]
[As far as side dishes go, Magnus picks a good one, something that will go well with the fishiness of the shark meat. Color Lup impressed!] Shark steak with a side of asparagus coming right up!
[Even using her magic, it takes the elf a little time to perfect her dish, rummaging through the spices that Taako had accrued while grumbling under her breath, making quick substitutions when the things she needed weren't immediately available. There's a few flashes of light and at least one instance of fire leaping up towards the ceiling while she works, but at the end of it, Lup plops an artfully plated meal in front of Magnus. She drops into the chair next to him and throws her hands up behind her head, leaning back.] Get your dick eating on, Burnsides.
Well, okay, it sorta still looks like a dick. But a delicious dick. Magnus digs right in, and as soon as the taste hits his tongue, he makes a noise of approval.]
Mm-- Dude, Lup, this is the best dick I've ever tasted. What the fuck.
[But the woman is beaming smugly, looking all too confident in her abilities after turning a giant shark dick into a real meal. This is absolutely going on her resume later, right under 'Played Tag with the Hunger for forty-seven years' and 'Also didn't murder any of my shipmates during that time'.] But I'm glad you approve. Worlds better than just frying it up, right?
There were tons of other sharks in the lake so, y'know, if you ever want a round two, just hit me up.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
Action; Evening of 8/1
Even if it's just to rub it in their faces later.
Which is precisely why, late into the evening after Nathan Drake's underwater discovery, that Lup comes busting into Magnus' room without warning. A dangerous thing to do, but it's been A Day. The woman is completely drenched, leaving a trail of water behind her all through the apartment, but that's pretty easy to forget when something comes levitating in through the doorway, pausing next to Lup's head and then dropping to the floor with an unfortunate squish.
Yep. That's a shark dick from a fucking monstrosity of a shark.
Lup just raises her hands and fingerguns across the way at Magnus.]
Like I said. I'm the fucking master of shark fishing.
[And this is way too good of an entrance for her to not spin on heel and immediately leave the room, leaving Magnus with the mess.]
WHAT A GIFT
But, hey. These days, he's been feeling the bittersweet pang of nostalgia. So whittle he shall.
He freezes, though, when his door opens without warning. Magnus happens to be wearing an undershirt and boxers, so not the worst thing Lup could walk in on, and a wood shaving falls to the ground to punctuate his stunned silence.
He watches her, mouth agape, as she drops a fucking disembodied double dick on the ground, fingerguns, makes a callback, and just fucking walks out. As soon as she exits, though, he shoots to his feet, forgetting the bowl, and follows after her. He's not letting her just micdrop like that, okay. Dickdrop.]
Come on, you could at least fry it! I don't think sushi has been invented!
no subject
Lup spins again when Magnus follows after her, not bothering to hide the flash of irritation on her face as water droplets fly off of her hair. She was just about to change, but instead, she'll just keep dripping puddles onto the their floor.]
Why would I--[Oh gods. Her eyes immediately narrow in suspicion up at him.] You aren't, you aren't planning on eating it, are you?
no subject
[Don't look at him like that. You're the one that supplied him with fresh fish genitals.]
Besides, some of the most flavorful parts of mammals are the dicks. I don't see why it'd be so different for fish.
[You're talking to the man who willingly ordered fried unicorn dick. Also, he ate a magic rock. We are past the point of questioning Magnus on what he chooses to put in his mouth, Lup, keep up.]
no subject
Has Taako been slacking that badly you're going to resort to eating sharktopus dick? I know we got a little colorful with our cooking on some planes, but what the fuck?! I didn't raise you to eat animal genitals!
[Okay, so she didn't raise him at all, but he was such a young thing when they first met, it's hard not to think of him as a little brother who just happens to tower over her.]
no subject
It's a fucking delicacy! You can't get that shit anywhere else! Like unicorn dick! You have to know some kind of magical chef just to get ahold of it!
[Just let him eat dick, Lup.]
no subject
She opens her mouth and holds out a finger, like she's about to wag it at him, but after a pause, Lup huffs instead of exploding. If you can't beat 'em...]
You know what, I am a goddamn magical chef. You want your fucking deep-fried sharktopus dick snack, Mags, I'm gonna make it the best fucking sharktopus dick you've ever had.
no subject
He takes a deep breath through his nose. His eyes remain narrowed, and when his voice finally comes, the word is almost a whisper.]
Please.
no subject
[And still sloshing around in her dripping clothes, leaving puddles of water with each step, Lup moves past Magnus towards his bedroom to levitate the dismembered shark genitalia into the kitchen. This is actually happening.]
no subject
You ever cook shark before? Shark fin soup, maybe?
no subject
Is that your request? Shark dick soup?
no subject
[He watches the disembodied dick float past. That sure is a sight.]
no subject
[If nothing else, their time drifting from plane to plane has helped to develop the twin's skills by always giving them new things to work with and taking away the things they were most used to using. It was a challenge, but one they both had no choice but to rise up with. It makes their stay in Hadriel seem like a breeze.] I've got this shark dick covered, but any requests for sides? You don't get a protein without some kind of veggies on the side.
no subject
[Magnus is pretty spoiled, all things considered. He's got the two, as far as he believes, greatest chefs ever to make sense of all these canned veggies and weird orchard fruits and random staples in between, fashioning better meals from very little than probably anyone else in the cave is eating.
So when she asks what he wants for a side, he doesn't grow indecisive from lack of selection. Quite the opposite. Taako's had plenty of time to learn to get creative with Hadriel's stock, and Lup's no worse, herself. After a period of indecision, he finally offers,]
Something with asparagus, maybe?
no subject
[Even using her magic, it takes the elf a little time to perfect her dish, rummaging through the spices that Taako had accrued while grumbling under her breath, making quick substitutions when the things she needed weren't immediately available. There's a few flashes of light and at least one instance of fire leaping up towards the ceiling while she works, but at the end of it, Lup plops an artfully plated meal in front of Magnus. She drops into the chair next to him and throws her hands up behind her head, leaning back.] Get your dick eating on, Burnsides.
no subject
Well, okay, it sorta still looks like a dick. But a delicious dick. Magnus digs right in, and as soon as the taste hits his tongue, he makes a noise of approval.]
Mm-- Dude, Lup, this is the best dick I've ever tasted. What the fuck.
no subject
[But the woman is beaming smugly, looking all too confident in her abilities after turning a giant shark dick into a real meal. This is absolutely going on her resume later, right under 'Played Tag with the Hunger for forty-seven years' and 'Also didn't murder any of my shipmates during that time'.] But I'm glad you approve. Worlds better than just frying it up, right?
There were tons of other sharks in the lake so, y'know, if you ever want a round two, just hit me up.
no subject
[He feels sorta bad he made her cook for him without her getting any for herself.]
Or, uh, if you don't feel like dick, you could get, like. Any other part. A fin or something. Some tentacles.
no subject
You're just thirsting for more sharktopus in general. Got it. Maybe next time I'll make you work for it, big guy.